ICMC went to Portland

Report

The first trip of 2022 marked the ICMC’s first return to the Isle of Portland, Dorset since 2018. A lack of cheap accommodation (or motivation for camping) brought any previous plans to a standstill. This was changed by Vice-Pres George, who went above the call of duty by randomly dialling phone numbers in the Dorset region until he found a church hall for hire under the house of a vicar.

A few messages later and members rushed to buy tickets for what promised to be a cracking weekend of sport and bouldering. President Ollie Tippett gravely missed access to the union minibuses after his own van broke down before getting out of his driveway. Although he missed the trip he was there in spirit, as all present could feel his sarcastic comments like some form of undiagnosed PTSD. The remaining members made their way to the Isle in good order, and George rapidly organised the hire of bouldering pads to replace those lost in Ollie’s van.

Following a reasonable night’s sleep (one unidentified snorer must have slept well!), the club rose to start a solid day’s climb in the cuttings. Whilst Ciaran and George headed off to fetch the hire pads, the rest of the trip warmed up on some of the easier sport routes offered in the cuttings and revised some anchor-rethreading theory. Upon their return with said pads, some boulderers (who shall not be named) (Callum) declared sport climbing to be a fruitless endeavour, and led a group down to the Cuttings boulder field.

The boulderers had a strong day, with Asha, Callum and Jake (minus one foot) sending Anasazi Lost (7A), Callum sending Lightning Strike (7A+), and Asha and Jake sanding their hands down on Relativity (7A) to no avail. A larger group joined them from the upper cliffs to send Days of Colour (6A).

The sport climbers moved on from the warmup to tackle various harder routes, namely Too Many Cooks (6b), Mousefolk (6c), Evening Mistress (6b). Rory made quick work of the Mermaid (7a), encouraging many others to follow suit (with more beta and fewer attempts; Will). Scarlett and Daisy worked their way around increasingly bold routes around the crag, culminating in a plan to multi-pitch some routes in the Bower buttress (see later on). Mellisa and Anaya taped up and worked their way up and down the Jam (4c offwidth), seemingly in search of the perfect jamming technique. Max and Mathilde surprised everyone by admitting they had yet to climb outdoors; following a tutoring session with George they went on their merry way and worked their way up the grades on offer around the crag. Will (belayed by Liam) worked on their fall/fall catching practice by working on Mousefolk (6c) and Perihelion (6b+). Despite a skin-sanding fall on the slabby layback of Mousefolk and a complete inverted ragdoll-like swing after the crux of Perihelion, Will walked away unharmed with an added trust in Liam’s belaying.

Rory, Miguel and Ciaran psyched each other up to try out Modern Nightmare (7a), a long (for the cuttings) route split into a stiff bouldery start, a taxing section up a groove and a set of 3 roofs with blind jugs. After figuring out the beta for the boulder (and most importantly realising the first bolt can be pre-clipped with a little jump!), all 3 were shut down by the roofs of the route which proved tricky to read (who would have guessed…).

The club made their way back to the vicar’s house for atonements (i.e well earned rests). George expertly directed the kitchen, delivering two excellent chillis (vegi & meat) and impressively heterogenous rice, albeit a power cut to the cooker did almost cause havoc if not for his quick thinking (which will not be described here!). Liam decided the ICMC should instead be the Imperial College Melee Club, and demanded the right to wrestle Miguel in exchange for doing his fair share of the washing up. Pots were washed, crash pads were tesselated and Miguel promptly spent 15 minutes in various headlocks before Liam caught his breath and ended up in an armbar. Excited by the atmosphere, Ciaran and Callum had their own match, which Callum later describes as: “an experience. Interesting.” (interpret this as you wish). After a drawn-out match between Ciaran and Miguel which ended with some sore finger tendons, Liam decided a champion had to be declared and challenged Ciaran to a final match. After a near-instant headlock, the ICMC returned to being a climbing club and Liam put his ambitions to rest (until the next trip!).

Another uneventful night’s sleep passed, Ciaran awoke with a slightly bruised nose (on account of Liam’s heels, see picture above) and Miguel’s neck was reduced to 2 axes of motion. Nevertheless, the club got out of the hall and back to the cuttings for another day of hard sends.

The boulderers returned to the coast and were joined by a majority of the trip. Highlights of the day include Callum trying Frankenstein (7C) and almost ticking Liquid Sun (7A+) with Asha. Anaya, Melissa, Liam, George, Max, Mathilde, Melissa, Liam and George all joined to send a long series of 5+s and a few first 6As.

After a quick multi-pitch in the Bower (Voices in the Bower, 3 pitch 5a), Rory and Miguel headed to the New Cuttings for a final warm up(Flowers on a Razor Wire 6c), Rory and Miguel before joining Ciaran to return to the Modern Nightmare. Rory disappeared to coach Scarlett and Daisy up the multi-pitch, lying down on top of the crag with his head yelling instructions and inspecting the rope work below with a hawkish gaze. Ciaran took a first stab at Modern Nightmare and almost set the route but fell short at the final roof. Miguel had more luck, sending his 2nd 7a and leaving all of Ciaran’s quickdraws in place as a motivation for his own attempt. However, this was not to be, as multiple attempts to cruise past the opening boulder ended in disappointment for Ciaran. Rory was called upon, but he too was felled by the boulder section despite valiant efforts, leaving Miguel to scream his way back up with ripped hands and retrieve the gear left on route before night fell. All was clear and everyone was safely back on solid ground as the sun began to set.

After a little convincing, a few members headed down to a nearby cove for an improvised dip in the sea. Perhaps we felt better for doing it, but maybe that was just the hypothermia setting in. It may have been lucky that night time was falling as swim wear was sparse and the rest of the club was gathering at the top of the cliff to depart, but no comments were exchanged or needed.

Notable Events

Best Sends

Sport:

• Rory & Will: The Mermaid, 7a
• Miguel: Modern Nightmare, 7a

Bouldering:

• Callum: Lightning Strike, 7A+
• Asha, Callum & Jake (almost): Anasazi Lost, 7A

Best Falls

• Will: Perihilion
• Will: Mousefolk

Best Food

1. George (meat chilli)
2. George (vegi chilli)
3. Various (cereal + milk)

Worst Food

1. George (rice)

Written by Miguel Boland