The trip started with a promisingly early beginning with the bus leaving at 8am. After an unusually uneventful drive we arrived early at the accommodation and as such were unequipped to deal with dinner. An early search party set off in search of takeaway, unfortunately the chip shop was closed, but further trekking revealed a Tesco’s selling microwave pizzas. There was much rejoicing.

The next day began with Aviemore’s finest in winter safety instruction, the mighty Kevin, arriving to talk the novices through their first day in the mountains. Meanwhile, the passion wagon, plus Hamzah, had already packed camp and headed for the snow. The main party followed in hot pursuit, eventually meeting them in the bottom of the coire. Kevin promptly got the novices running about in the snow learning the gentlemen’s rules of a snowball fight, how to ice axe arrest, move on ice and snow and how to judge snow conditions incase they are dangerously yellow. Hamzah, Ruth and Fresher set off on their siege attempt of Invernookie (III) and Tom, Ben and Kip began what they believed to be Fingers Ridge (IV) but after Ben spent 2 hours leading a pitch by the seat of his pants it became evident that this was in fact not the case. After a quick reconsideration, the group bravely ran away, away to Red Gully (III) on the right before the ground steepened and became a crux pitch of what turned out to Fingers Ridge Direct (VII). The main party reconvened at the car park and headed home to construct a dish resembling a pasta carbonara and were eventually joined by the Invernookie team. There was much rejoicing.

On the second day, Kevin was met at the car park and the novices set off to do their first route, Aladdin’s Couloir (I) and much fun was had. Tom, Ben and Kip set off to try Aladdin’s mirror direct (IV), with Tom dispatching the crux ice pitch in his standard visually pleasing manor. Team snow hole +1 went to do the Runnel (II) and, after Hamzah pretended to be a sledge for a bit, abseiled back down and responsibly had Hamzah checked over by a mechanic to have the dents beaten out. After it was made apparent that all was well, chili was consumed by all, and there was much rejoicing.

Having completed their instruction, it was time for the novices to shed the surly bonds of snow and get on the rock. After a pre dawn walk in and it becoming apparent that John and Knut are in fact powered by uranium, Tom and Ben bravely lead two novices each (Knut, Jo, Joel and John) up Hidden Chimney (III). This was a successful venture with both teams topping out at around midday. These were soon joined by Kip and Tim (whose name is Tim) who had successfully lead the Runnel (II) and retrieved the gear and axes left by the previous days tobogganing. As the weather was so glorious, and the day was but young, an assent of Cairngorm was devised. Pairs geared up and battled up the tough 40º incline. Once summited people became happy, then naked, then happy. Fresher, Hamzah and Ruth had a rest day. There was much rejoicing.

Winter skipped spring and summer and became autumn and conditions become unclimbable. A team of elite connoisseurs ventured to the Tomatin distillery car park, and eventually visitor’s centre. Once all the available knowledge and whisky had been absorbed a historically accurate roast dinner of biblical proportion was made and consumed followed by enough pudding to fill an ant the size of a house. There was much rejoicing.

As the weather was still awful, a trip to Newtyle Quarry was commissioned. After some dry tooling and the invention of the crampon smear and running man techniques, it was determined that the weather was indeed awful. The trip bravely ran away, away to the pub. After some cracking nosh and a pint or two the trip reconvened back at the house. A game of hide and seek later and diner was ready. People became hungry, then happy, then full. The following events that followed were a bit too much like fun to be mentioned in a Scottish winter report, needless to say that several ventured to Aviemore’s finest after dinner amusement, The Vault (VI). There was much rejoicing.

Friday came and still the bad weather persisted. Some people went shopping, then some other people went shopping. Later, after hours of graft, Tim invented the snowball cocktail. Some people watched TV, someone did some work, some people talked of how they should do work. Eventually a traditional Christmas dinner of spaghetti bolognaise was eaten and it was time for the ICMC secret Santa. People became happy, then thankful, then Joel became sad. There was much rejoicing.

On Sunday we left. There was much rejoicing.